I am a high school dropout making six figures, a dad who cuddles his six-year-old to sleep every night, and according to some people on the internet, a piece of shit for fighting for custody of my own son.
Welcome to my life. Where I break every rule everyone told me to follow.
There’s this anime character that captures all of it. Luffy from One Piece.
Luffy wants to be King of the Pirates. But his version? Saving people, building friendships, doing it HIS way. Not the stereotype.
And I realized I’ve been doing the exact same thing my whole life. Just not on a pirate ship.
Rule #1: The Career Script
Everyone has opinions when you drop out of high school.
Your family, your teachers, random adults who barely know you, they all have this script they want you to follow:
Go to school. Get good grades. Get a degree. Get a SAFE job. Pay off your debt. THEN maybe, if you’re lucky, you can start thinking about what you actually want.
That’s the stereotype. The proper way to do it.
I looked at all of that and said, nah. That’s not for me.
Now here’s the thing. I’m not saying school is bad. If that’s your path, go for it. But it wasn’t mine. And I wasn’t going to pretend it was just because everyone expected it.
What I Did Instead
I started working. Warehouse jobs, tech support, whatever I could get. At the same time, I was teaching myself things online. There was a period in my early twenties where I was running on four hours of sleep because I’d work during the day and stay up watching tutorials at night.
My uncle was always going on about how I needed to pay off my debt before I even thought about investing. There was this one Thanksgiving dinner where he was lecturing me about responsibility, and I remember thinking, “dude, I’m 22, what do I actually have to lose right now?”
Everyone said you need a degree to make real money. I just didn’t believe them.
And yeah, maybe I lose it all tomorrow. Maybe everything crashes. But I took the chance.
Right now? I’m making around six figures a year. No diploma. No degree. No following the script everyone handed me.
The Luffy Parallel
There’s this moment in One Piece where Luffy’s crew is about to enter this incredibly dangerous sea. His navigator is freaking out because the compass is spinning like crazy.
The proper way to navigate says wait. Figure it out. Be safe.
And Luffy just points at a random direction and says “that way looks fun.”
That’s it. That’s his entire decision-making process.
Does it work out perfectly every time? No. He runs into problems. He gets lost. He almost dies.
But he also finds incredible adventures. He builds a crew that would die for him. He experiences things that the play-it-safe pirates never will.
You can follow the script, or you can write your own. Both have consequences. But only one is actually yours.
Rule #2: The Dad Stereotype
I have a son. Tanner. He’s six years old.
The stereotype for dads, especially where I grew up, is pretty clear. Stoic. Distant. “Man up.” “Toughen up.” Don’t be too soft with your kids or you’ll make them weak.
Affection is for moms. Dads teach lessons. Dads are the discipline.
I don’t buy it. I never have.
What I Do Instead
I’m extremely affectionate with my son. Probably more than most people think is “normal” for a dad.
We still cuddle. Every night. He falls asleep laying on me, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
He’s six. And yeah, some people think that’s too old for that. That I should be making him more independent or whatever.
But here’s what I know: He’s only going to be six once. He’s only going to want to cuddle with his dad for so long. And I’m not going to waste that time following some stereotype about what dads are supposed to be like.
I want him to know that his dad loves him. Not through some “tough love, prove yourself” kind of way. But actually, genuinely, unconditionally.
If that makes me the weird dad? If that breaks the rules of what masculine fatherhood looks like?
Cool. I’ll take that.
The Luffy Parallel
There’s this thing with Luffy and his crew. He would do anything for them. Absolutely anything.
In the One Piece world, that’s not how pirate captains operate. Captains are supposed to be commanding. Distant. The crew serves the captain.
But Luffy throws himself into impossible situations for his friends. He cries in front of them. He admits when he’s scared. He’s completely open with his emotions.
And his crew doesn’t see that as weakness. They see it as the reason they would follow him anywhere.
That’s the kind of dad I want to be. The kind of man I want to be. Not some emotionless stereotype.
Rule #3: The System
Some rules fight back.
And this one almost broke me.
The Starting Point
The divorce came out of nowhere. I’m not going to get into all the details because that’s not what this is about. But I’ll tell you where I started.
Three hours a week. Supervised.
Let that sink in. Three hours a week with my own son. And someone had to watch me the whole time.
I talked to multiple lawyers. You know what they told me? Slim to none. The odds of a dad getting 50/50 custody, especially starting from where I was? Slim to none.
Everyone around me, people who cared about me, were saying things like:
“Maybe just accept it.”
“Maybe just take what you can get.”
“Don’t fight a battle you can’t win.”
I understood where they were coming from. It was going to be expensive. It was going to be exhausting. And statistically, the odds were not in my favor.
But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just accept seeing my son three hours a week for the rest of his childhood.
So I fought.
The Fight
Two years. Two years of legal battles. Two years of paperwork and court dates and stress that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
During those two years, some people on the internet decided I was the bad guy. Comments calling me a piece of shit. Calling me selfish. Saying I was putting my ego over my son.
And you know what? Let them.
Because here’s what I realized during that fight: Sometimes being called the villain is the price of protecting what you love.
The Luffy Parallel
There’s this arc in One Piece called Enies Lobby. One of Luffy’s crewmates, Robin, gets taken by the World Government. Everyone tells Luffy don’t do this. You’re going up against the entire world. The government has deemed her a criminal. Just let her go.
And Robin herself tells him to leave. She says she doesn’t want to be saved.
But Luffy knows something the world doesn’t. He knows Robin is worth fighting for. And he doesn’t care what anyone calls him.
So he attacks Enies Lobby. He declares war on the World Government. He burns their flag. And the entire world labels him a villain.
And he doesn’t care. Because he knows what he’s fighting for.
That’s what the custody battle felt like. Going up against a system that wasn’t built for me. Having people call me things I knew I wasn’t. Being the villain in someone else’s story.
The Outcome
I won.
50/50 custody. After starting at three supervised hours a week. After every lawyer telling me the odds. After two years of being told to give up.
I won.
Those same people who had all those comments? Real quiet these days.
How to Define YOUR Dream
So where does that leave us?
I broke the career rule. Dropped out, ignored conventional wisdom, built something on my own terms.
I broke the dad rule. Chose affection over stoicism. Chose presence over distance.
I broke the society rule. Fought when everyone said to quit. Accepted being called the villain to protect what mattered.
And none of it looked like what I was supposed to do.
The Framework
Here’s what I want you to take from all of this:
Step 1: Look at the rules everyone handed you. Career, relationships, parenting, whatever. Write them down.
Step 2: Ask yourself, do I actually believe this? Or did someone else tell me to believe this?
Step 3: If it’s not yours, break it. Build your own version. Even if they call you crazy.
The Bottom Line
Luffy’s definition of King of the Pirates isn’t about treasure. It’s not about power or fear or ruling over people.
For him, it means freedom. The freedom to go wherever he wants, do whatever he wants, protect whoever he wants. The most free person on the seas.
That’s HIS definition. And it looks nothing like what anyone else thinks the Pirate King should be.
Whatever YOUR dream is, whatever YOUR version of success looks like, you get to define what that means.
Not your parents. Not society. Not random people on the internet who think they know better.
You decide what success means for you. You decide what being a good parent looks like. You decide what battles are worth fighting.
And if they call you crazy? If they call you irresponsible? If they call you a villain?
Let them.
Because at the end of the day, it’s YOUR dream. And the only person who has to live with your choices is you.
Define your own dream. Even if they call you a pirate for it.
What rules are you breaking? What stereotypes are you refusing to follow? Drop a comment below.