Hey, nerds, it’s Derek—40-year-old single dad, Click Consultants wrangler, and Tanner’s chief chaos coordinator. Driving to counseling the other day, I got hit hard by that voice in my head whispering, “You’re not good enough.” You know the one—sneaky, vicious, and louder than a TikTok soundbite. My divorce, solo parenting, and running a business have cranked that voice to 11, but I’m fighting back with faith, grit, and a little Christian swagger.
herThis ain’t a TED Talk; it’s my raw, no-BS story of battling self-doubt, shared on OMG It’s Derek. Watch the video below, then let’s dive into how I tell that voice to kick rocks.
Table of Contents
- The Voice That Haunts Me
- Divorce: When Love Says ‘You’re Not Enough’
- Business Pressure: Carrying My Team
- Single Dad Struggles: Tanner’s My Why
- Junk Food and Veg Mode: My Dark Spiral
- Two Voices: God vs. Satan
- Choosing Faith Over Fear
- The Daily Fight: It Never Stops
- Your Turn: Share Your Fight
The Voice That Haunts Me
That “not good enough” voice is a punk. It creeps in when I’m driving to counseling, stressing about work, or wiping Tanner’s spaghetti face. I’m a high-octane guy—always pushing to do more, be more—but that makes me a magnet for self-doubt. Divorce, fatherhood, and running a business have turned that voice into a screaming banshee. I’m no guru; I’m just a dude learning to fight it, and sharing this on my vlog helps me process. Plus, you nerds in the comments always drop wisdom that flips my perspective. Let’s unpack how I deal, and maybe it’ll spark something for you.
Divorce: When Love Says ‘You’re Not Enough’
Two and a half years ago, my ex-wife walked out. Six months ago, the divorce finalized, and man, that shit wrecked me. When someone you love says, “I’m done,” it’s like a sledgehammer to your soul.
The court system didn’t help—Ohio’s setup screwed me over, and for three months, I barely saw Tanner. I felt like garbage, like I’d failed as a husband, dad, and human. That voice screamed, “You’re worthless,” and I believed it. Fighting for shared custody was my middle finger to that lie, but the scars? They still sting.
Business Pressure: Carrying My Team
Running Click Consultants—my digital marketing agency that powers OMG It’s Derek and other brands—is a beast. It’s not just me and Tanner anymore; I’ve got a team—Eunice, my editors, their families—counting on me. When the company’s not crushing it, I feel like *I’m* not crushing it. Last month, a client bailed, and I was up at 2 a.m., spiraling: “You’re tanking this, Derek.”
The pressure’s real, and that voice loves to feast on it.
Single Dad Struggles: Tanner’s My Why
Week-on, week-off with Tanner is a solo mission. No backup, just me making every call—bedtime battles, soccer snacks, explaining why dinosaurs aren’t pets. Last week, Tanner had a meltdown over homework, and I snapped, then felt like the world’s worst dad. Juggling Click Consultants and parenting is like herding cats while riding a unicycle. That voice whispers, “You’re failing him,” and it cuts deep.
Tanner’s my why, but damn, single dad life tests my soul.
Junk Food and Veg Mode: My Dark Spiral
Lately, I’ve been slipping. By 6 p.m., I’m a zombie on the couch, mainlining peanut butter pretzels (yep, Tanner’s snack stash) and zoning out to *Hell’s Paradise* reruns. I’m not even watching—just staring, feeling like a slob. No gym, no cooking, just junk food and guilt.
That voice piles on: “Lazy ass, you’ll never get it together.” I know it’s a rut, but when you’re in it, it feels like quicksand. Been there? Tell me I’m not alone.
Two Voices: God vs. Satan
I’m a Christian, and I see this as a spiritual cage match. There’s two voices in my head: Satan’s, the one that says, “You’re trash, give up,” and God’s, the quiet one whispering, “You’ve got this, I made you for more.” After the divorce, I hit rock bottom—dark thoughts, wanting to check out. Satan’s voice was deafening. But God’s voice, faint as it was, kept me going.
Like last week, mid-couch spiral, I heard it: “Get up, Derek, Tanner needs you.” That’s the voice I’m learning to lean into.
Choosing Faith Over Fear
Fighting that “not good enough” voice starts with a choice. I tell myself, “Christ died for me, screw-ups and all. If He says I’m enough, who’s this punk voice to argue?” I don’t care if you’re not religious—this works. Pick the voice that lifts you up, whether it’s God, your inner hype man, or Tanner’s goofy grin. For me, it’s faith. I read Psalm 139:14—“I am fearfully and wonderfully made”—and it’s like a spiritual middle finger to doubt. You gotta decide you’re worth fighting for, every damn day.
The Daily Fight: It Never Stops
Here’s the kicker: that negative voice doesn’t quit. Five minutes after a pep talk, it’s back, whispering, “Nice try, loser.” A week later, a bad client call revives it. Years from now, it’ll creep in again. Last night, Tanner hugged me and said, “You’re the best dad,” and for a second, I believed it. Then today, I botched a pitch, and boom—voice is back. It’s a lifelong brawl. You don’t win once; you keep swinging.
Faith, counseling, and Tanner’s laugh are my weapons. What’s yours?
Your Turn: Share Your Fight
I’m no expert—just a dad trying not to suck at life.
These vlogs are my therapy, and your comments are gold. Got a trick for shutting up that “not good enough” voice? Drop it below. Struggling like me? Spill it—I’m here. Check the video above for the full raw rant. Want more dad chaos or faith-fueled fights? Subscribe to OMG It’s Derek and hit Click Consultants for YouTube editing that slaps. Need help? Try BetterHelp for counseling. Peace out, nerds!
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