So everyone’s always talking about algorithms right? Like how social media is controlling our minds and manipulating us and all this stuff. And I get it, I really do. It’s easy to blame the algorithm when you find yourself three hours deep in a TikTok or Instagram rabbit hole watching content that makes you feel like shit.
But I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and honestly I think we’re completely wrong about what’s actually happening here.
The algorithm isn’t controlling you. It’s exposing you.
And that’s way more uncomfortable to admit which is probably why nobody wants to say it.
What I Mean By That
Okay so let me explain what I’m talking about because I know that sounds weird or maybe like I’m defending big tech or something—I’m not. But here’s the thing that I think people don’t want to acknowledge.
These algorithms aren’t really designed to control us. I mean sure maybe in some cases there’s like manipulation happening or whatever, I’m not saying that never happens. But mostly? These algorithms are designed to keep our attention. That’s it. That’s the goal.
Because these are companies right? And what do companies care about more than anything else at the end of the day? Making money. That’s literally their whole purpose for existing. They’re not sitting around in Silicon Valley plotting how to control your mind like some evil villain—they’re trying to figure out how to keep you on their platform longer so they can show you more ads so they can make more money.
And the way you keep someone’s attention is actually pretty simple when you think about it. You give them exactly what they want to see.
So when you’re scrolling through your feed and you keep seeing stuff that makes you angry or upset or whatever emotional response, that’s not some grand conspiracy to control your thoughts. That’s the algorithm recognizing that you keep engaging with that type of content. You click on it, you watch it, you comment on it, you share it, you spend time looking at it. The algorithm sees all that data and goes “okay cool this person likes this content, let me give them more of it.”
It’s basically just holding up a mirror to what you’re already drawn to you know?
We Don’t Want To Admit What We Actually Like Consuming
And this is where it gets uncomfortable for people I think. Because we don’t like to admit to ourselves how much we actually enjoy the darker stuff. The negative stuff. The dramatic stuff. The content that triggers us emotionally.
Like we’ll say “oh I hate all this negative news” or “I hate all this drama” but then we keep consuming it. We keep clicking on it. We keep engaging with it.
And maybe we don’t consciously like it exactly but our brains and bodies are wired to respond to it. There’s biological reasons why negative content and emotional content captures our attention way more than neutral or positive stuff. Gossip, anger, fear, drama—we’re literally wired as humans to pay attention to that stuff because evolutionarily it kept us alive or whatever.
So the algorithms are just taking advantage of these human tendencies that we all have. They’re not creating these tendencies, they’re just exploiting them to keep us on the platform. Because the longer we stay, the more money they make. Simple as that.
But here’s the thing nobody wants to hear—there are people out there whose algorithms feed them nothing but positive shit. Like inspiring content and motivational stuff and happy things. Because that’s what those people actually engage with. That’s what they seek out and watch and interact with.
If you’re constantly seeing posts about like Donald Trump and all the political negativity and stuff—and look I’m not saying you shouldn’t be informed about politics, that’s not what I’m saying at all—but if your feed is constantly that stuff, it’s because you keep engaging with it. But if you spent the next week purposely searching for and engaging with motivating inspiring content instead, your feed would shift. The algorithm would figure out pretty quick that’s what you want now.
The algorithms don’t care what they feed you. They just want to feed you whatever keeps you there longest.
You know what I mean?
My Own Stand With This
I can think of two times in my life where I really noticed this happening to me and realized I was kind of doing it to myself.
The first one was political stuff. And again I’m not against being informed about politics—I think everybody should be informed and be an active participant in democracy, that’s the whole point of it. But there were definitely periods where I got way too deep into the negativity side of politics.
Like I’d watch one video about something that pissed me off, and then my whole feed would become nothing but more content designed to make me even more pissed off. And I’d just find myself constantly worked up and angry about political shit. Getting in arguments online, feeling stressed out all the time, just consumed by it.
And at the time I was like “damn these algorithms are feeding me all this negative content” but looking back now I realize—no dude, you kept clicking on it. You kept watching it. You kept engaging with it. The algorithm was just giving you more of what you were asking for even if you didn’t consciously realize you were asking for it.
The second time was actually right after my divorce started. Or not started but when my ex left me and shit really hit the fan. I was a complete mess honestly. All up in my feelings about everything, you know how it is. And before I even realized what was happening my entire feed became nothing but depressed end-of-the-world type content.
Like every post was “nobody loves like they used to” or “all women are like this” or “modern dating is dead” or just feeding into that misery and negativity and victimhood mindset. And at the time it felt validating in this weird fucked up way? Like oh okay other people feel this way too, I’m not alone in being miserable, everyone else sees how broken everything is.
But really it was just keeping me stuck in that dark place. I was allowing myself—actively choosing even if I didn’t realize it—to be consumed by that type of content. And the algorithm was happy to keep feeding it to me because I kept engaging with it.
I wasn’t being controlled. I was being exposed. The algorithm was showing me what I was actually drawn to even though I would have told you I didn’t want to see that stuff.
Does that make sense?
Breaking Free Actually Means Taking Responsibility
So the first step to breaking free from algorithms—if that’s even what you want to do, maybe you don’t I don’t know—but the first step is realizing they’re not controlling you. They’re exposing what you’re naturally drawn to.
And once you actually realize that and accept it, you can start making different choices. You can be intentional instead of just reactive.
Think about it like this. If you went to a restaurant and every time you ordered something unhealthy the waiter made a note of it, and then the next time you came in they started recommending all the unhealthy stuff first because they know that’s what you tend to order based on your history—you wouldn’t say the waiter is controlling you right? You’d recognize that you have a pattern of ordering certain things and they’re just responding to that pattern.
Actually that’s maybe not a great analogy but you get what I’m trying to say. The algorithm is just responding to your behavior patterns. But you can change those patterns anytime you want. It’s not forcing you to do anything.
For me personally once I realized what was happening with the political stuff and especially the post-divorce depression content, I made a conscious effort to change what I was engaging with. I started purposely seeking out content that was more positive, more constructive, more focused on solutions instead of just problems and negativity.
And you know what happened? My feed shifted pretty quickly actually. It’s not some mysterious force or black magic. It’s just math. The algorithm calculates what you’re most likely to engage with based on your past behavior. You change your behavior, the algorithm adapts. Simple as that.
Wait Let Me Talk About The Entertainment vs Meaning Thing
Actually this connects to something bigger I think which is this whole balance we’re all trying to find between entertainment and meaning. Between rest and work. Between consuming content and creating stuff that actually matters.
And to be clear I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being entertained. Like at all. I think we’re put on this earth to enjoy it honestly. God says in the Bible through Christ “I have come that they might have life and have it to the fullest” or however exactly that verse goes. I don’t think God’s only desire for us is that we’re chasing purpose and meaning 24/7 without ever resting or having fun or just enjoying life.
Like I don’t think we’re designed to always be on you know? Always working on something whether that’s our job or our family or our spiritual growth or whatever. There’s definitely supposed to be time for rest and relaxation and just being.
The Bible used to have an entire day every week—the Sabbath—that was just for rest. You weren’t supposed to work at all. Just spend time with God and your family and rest. And then on top of that they had this thing called the year of jubilee where every seventh year you basically took the entire year off from work.
Can you imagine that in today’s society? One full day every single week where nobody worked at all. And then every seven years you got a whole year off. That’s insane compared to how we live now.
The Weird Irony Of All This Progress
And that’s actually what’s so funny and kind of sad about all of this when you really think about it. We used to have this figured out. Like society used to be structured in a way where rest and balance was built into the system.
But then all this technology came along that was supposed to free up our time and make our lives easier and give us more leisure and all that. And instead it just made us busier. Way busier. More stressed. More always-on than we’ve ever been.
I don’t really know why that is honestly. Like I don’t know if that’s technology’s fault or if it’s just human nature or capitalism or what. But it’s kind of backwards when you think about it.
We keep saying “oh this new technology is going to give us utopia” or “AI is going to free us up to focus on what really matters” but have you noticed we’ve been saying that forever and it never actually happens? Every new technology just seems to make us busier and more stressed instead of giving us the freedom we thought it would.
And the truth is we’re probably already living in what people would have considered utopia a couple hundred years ago. We just don’t appreciate it.
Like think about how people lived back then. Most people worked in fields from sunup to sundown every single day just to have enough food to survive. That was their entire existence. Work to not starve. Every day. No days off. No leisure time. Just survival.
Now? Yeah we still work a lot—I’ll get to that in a second—but we also get to enjoy movies and video games and books and music and hanging out with friends and family and traveling and all these other things that bring us joy and meaning. We have opportunities for entertainment and growth and connection that humans have literally never had in all of history.
But instead of being grateful for that and appreciating where we’re at, we’re all stressed out and anxious and feeling like we don’t have enough time. Like we’re drowning in obligations and work.
How We Actually Spend Our Time Now
Most people work like 50 to 60 hours a week when you factor in everything. Not just the hours at the office but commute time, getting ready in the morning, all of that.
So let’s say you wake up at 7am, get to the office by 8, work till 5, get home at 6. That’s basically 7am to 6pm consumed by work. Then you have from 6pm to maybe 10 or 11pm to eat dinner and maybe work on your own projects or side hustles or things that give you purpose and meaning. And then you have maybe an hour or two to actually rest and relax before you crash and do it all over again the next day.
Our entire society is heavily skewed toward the working day job aspect of life. And I think that’s kind of backwards honestly. Or at least not ideal.
What AI Should Actually Do For Us (If It’s Going To Help At All)
I think if AI and technology are going to actually help us the way everyone keeps saying they will, they need to give us more time for the things that actually matter. More time for meaning and purpose. More time for rest and real connection and spirituality or whatever is important to each person.
Like ideally, we’d see work hours drop. We’d see more time for people to spend on their own passions and projects and purposes—the stuff that actually gives them meaning beyond just making money for some corporation. We’d see more time for actual rest and relaxation and being present with the people we love.
Personally the way I have my Sundays set up is pretty close to what I think it should be for me at least. I have church in the morning which is important to me spiritually, and then in the afternoons we do Sunday family dinner like they used to do back in the day. It’s really made to be a day of spending time with God and family and just relaxing and recharging. I hold Sundays pretty sacred honestly and I don’t do work stuff on Sundays if I can help it.
And I think it would be great to see society move back toward something like that. Obviously everybody’s different though and I’m not trying to force my ideals on everyone else—like I’m not saying everyone needs to go to church or whatever. My point is just that AI and tech should help us each live whatever that ideal life is that gives us our own sense of purpose and meaning and balance.
For some people, maybe working 50 hours a week at their day job is what they want and enjoy and what gives them fulfillment. Cool, more power to them. For other people it might be running their own business or being an artist or raising kids or whatever. Some people might practice spirituality in completely different ways than I do or not at all—and look I might not agree with their approach but I do think everybody should be free to figure that out for themselves. As Paul said in the Bible, let each person work out their own salvation.
I guess what I’m trying to say is it shouldn’t all look the same for everyone. But the technology should be designed to help each of us get to that place where we have the balance we actually need. Between work and rest. Between meaning and entertainment. Between productivity and just being.
You know?
The Three Ways People Are Going To Relate To AI
I think as AI gets more and more advanced and becomes more integrated into our lives, people are basically going to relate to it in three different ways.
First there’s people who will see it as like a mirror that reflects divine design or truth or whatever you want to call it. They’ll see it as a tool that helps them understand the world better and pushes them closer to God or meaning or understanding or whatever their version of that is. They’ll use it to enhance their pursuit of purpose and growth.
Second there’s people who will basically replace God with AI. They’ll idolize the technology as the new savior because it gives them instant feedback and validation and feels like it understands them. And I mean I get it—as AI gets more advanced it’s going to feel more and more like you’re talking to a real being that actually knows you. It’s easy to see how people could start depending on that emotionally or even spiritually in ways that aren’t healthy.
And then third there’s people who will completely reject it. Push it away entirely. Want nothing to do with it. And honestly? Maybe those people are the smart ones. Maybe they’re the ones who realize we’ve already had everything we’ve been searching for all this time and we don’t need some new technology to find it.
I don’t know which group is right. Maybe they’re all right in their own ways. Maybe it depends on the individual person and their relationship with it.
But if I had to bet based on how history has gone, I think it’s the first group—the people who embrace it as a tool—that’s going to dominate. Because progress always seems to win eventually when it comes to humanity and technology. The tech always gets adopted whether people like it or not.
Whether it was farming equipment that let us spend less time in fields. Or cars that replaced horses. Or smartphones that put like ten different devices into one thing in your pocket. Or whatever. We always move forward with technology. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it creates new problems, but we always move forward.
I just really hope that as we keep progressing forward with all this AI and tech stuff, humanity finally starts to understand that we’ve kind of already arrived at a lot of what we’ve been chasing. That doesn’t mean we can’t keep improving things. But I think we need to slow down and actually appreciate where we’re at right now as a species before we keep racing toward the next thing.
It Really All Comes Down To Gratitude
You know what this really is about? Gratitude. Just being grateful and content with what we already have.
I mean we have so much division and problems in this country right now, so many issues in the world, I’m not trying to minimize any of that. But I would argue that most people—at least in developed countries and modern society—have it better than humans have ever had it in all of history.
We need more gratitude. More appreciation. Be grateful for what we have. Be thankful for what we have. Be thankful even for what we don’t have sometimes because of God’s grace and mercy—like maybe we deserve certain consequences for our actions but we don’t get them. Just be content with where we’re at.
And that doesn’t mean we can’t still strive to improve and grow and get better. Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive or contradictory or whatever. You can be content while still working toward something more.
The Bible talks about striving for perfection in some places. There’s this scripture where someone asks one of the apostles—I think it’s Paul but I might be misremembering—anyway someone asks if we’re not under the old law anymore because of Christ’s sacrifice, does that mean we don’t need to obey it? And the answer is basically like no it’s not that we don’t need to obey it, it’s that we’re under grace and mercy now because of what Christ did. But that doesn’t mean we should just go out and do whatever we want and ignore what we know is right.
I don’t know if I’m explaining that well but basically you can be content with where you are while still trying to improve and grow. You can have gratitude for what you have while still working toward something better. Both things can be true at the same time.
So What’s My Point With All This?
Okay so let me try to bring this all together because I feel like I’ve been rambling all over the place here.
Stop blaming the algorithm for showing you what you’re already drawn to. Take responsibility for what you actually consume and engage with. Be intentional about it instead of just reacting to whatever pops up in your feed.
Recognize that all this technology we have—as amazing and helpful as it is in a lot of ways—it’s also made us busier and more distracted and more always-on instead of giving us the freedom and leisure time we thought it would. We used to actually build rest into our culture and society in ways we don’t anymore and maybe we should think about that.
Understand that AI and tech should be tools to help us find more meaning and purpose and balance and rest. Not just more productivity and consumption and busyness for the sake of being busy.
Be grateful for where we already are. Like genuinely grateful. We’re living in what people just a few hundred years ago would have considered absolute paradise or utopia or whatever. Yeah we have problems and yeah we can improve but we also have it pretty damn good compared to most of human history. Maybe appreciate that a little bit.
And realize that whether you end up seeing AI as a mirror of truth, or a replacement for God, or something to reject entirely—progress is going to keep moving forward either way. Technology keeps advancing. Society keeps changing. So the question isn’t whether it’s coming, it’s how you’re going to relate to it when it’s here.
For me personally I want to use all this technology and AI to get back to that balance. More time with God, more time with Tanner and my family, more time for rest and meaning and purpose. Less time just grinding away at work stuff or getting lost scrolling through algorithm-driven content that doesn’t actually serve me or make me better.
I think we’re at this really weird spot in history where we have all the tools to create the life we say we want. But we’re using those tools in ways that keep us from actually living that life. And I think a lot of that comes down to not being honest with ourselves about what we’re actually drawn to and what we’re actually choosing to engage with every single day.
The algorithm isn’t the problem. The technology isn’t the problem. The problem is us not being intentional about how we use these things and not being grateful for what we already have and always chasing the next thing instead of appreciating where we’re at right now.
At least that’s how I see it. Maybe I’m completely wrong. I don’t know. But I think if we could just step back and really appreciate where we’re at as humans right now and be more deliberate about how we spend our time and attention, we’d realize we’re actually a lot closer to that ideal life we keep chasing than we think we are.
We just have to stop long enough to notice it.
Anyway that’s probably more rambling than you wanted but that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately with all this stuff. What do you think? Do you catch yourself blaming algorithms for stuff you’re actually choosing to engage with? How do you balance the entertainment side of life with the meaning and purpose side? Let me know in the comments or whatever because I’m genuinely curious how other people think about this stuff and if I’m the only one who sees it this way or if this resonates with anyone else.
Alright I’m done. Thanks for reading this whole thing if you made it this far.