Ever wondered how a single dad manages to run multiple businesses while raising a 5-year-old? Let me share my story.
Hi, I’m Derek. I’m a single father to a 5-year-old boy named Tanner, and I juggle multiple roles: running my digital marketing agency, managing Fathers for Fair Custody (an advocacy for father’s rights), building my personal brand, and working a day job. Finding balance between being a single dad and running a business is incredibly important to me.
Being a dad is one of the most rewarding, fun, and significant roles in life. I believe it’s one of the single most important things you can do. Running a business allows you to break free from the daily grind, providing the flexibility to spend more time with your child and enjoy the freedom of setting your own schedule. By being disciplined with your time and efficiently managing your business, you can occasionally take a day off to do something special, like taking your kid to the zoo on a sunny morning.
Personal Journey
I remember the day my world turned upside down—facing accusations I never imagined, and fighting for my son became my new reality.
My journey to becoming a single dad started with a painful divorce. My ex-wife decided she was no longer happy in our relationship and, without much discussion, accused me of some horrendous things to try to prevent me from getting visitation with Tanner. Initially, I fought to save our family, but she was never willing to work on it. After a lengthy divorce process of about a year and a half, I found myself navigating single parenthood.
I’ve always been an entrepreneur, having run several successful businesses over the years. This time, however, I’m focusing on personal branding—essentially making myself more well-known. It’s a challenging endeavor, with stiff competition and the task of being authentically yourself, which doesn’t come naturally to most people, including myself. What inspired me to pursue this path? I wanted to live a life where I wake up every day and do what I love, providing value to the world in my own way. Whether it’s helping other single fathers, being a great dad to Tanner, or supporting my family and friends, I strive to live a fulfilling and impactful life.
Initially, time management was a significant challenge. Balancing time with Tanner and my business wasn’t easy. I have Tanner every other week, so I focus on him during the weeks he’s with me, working Monday to Friday during the day and avoiding work in the evenings and weekends. During the weeks I don’t have Tanner, I work extensively to get ahead. This approach helps me manage the balance, though it’s never perfect. I’ve learned to go with the ebb and flow, trying to walk in God’s will, and adjusting as needed. When I notice I’m leaning too far in one direction, I shift back to find balance.
Time Management
Ever feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day? As a single dad running a business, I’ve found ways to make every minute count.
Managing my time effectively between my responsibilities as a dad and a business owner is a constant challenge, but I’ve developed strategies that work for me.
I stay organized through a combination of to-do lists, standard operating procedures (SOPs), and task management systems. These tools help me keep track of my tasks and ensure that everything gets done efficiently. I also use productivity apps to streamline my workflow and maximize my time.
Balancing work and fatherhood requires a flexible schedule. When I have Tanner, my workday is structured around him. I work from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., taking an hour lunch break to spend with Tanner and checking in on him throughout the day. After 5 p.m., I dedicate my time entirely to him, avoiding work in the evenings and on weekends. When I don’t have Tanner, I work extensively, including evenings and weekends, to get ahead on my tasks.
Of course, this approach isn’t perfect, and I face common time management challenges like distractions and burnout. To overcome these, I focus on setting clear priorities and avoiding the trap of perfectionism. I accept that I can’t do everything perfectly and instead aim to do the most important things well. This mindset helps me stay productive and balanced.
Support Systems
No one does it alone. Here’s how my incredible support system helps me balance being a single dad and running a business.
My support system is invaluable, and I couldn’t manage everything without them. My family is a tremendous help, especially my mom and my sisters, Danielle and Tamara. They have stepped up in countless ways, from babysitting Tanner to providing emotional support during tough times.
My personal assistant, Eunice, is another crucial member of my support system. She helps me stay organized, keeps the business running smoothly, and ensures that I stay on track with my goals. Without her, managing all my responsibilities would be much more challenging.
My friends, Rachel and Tony, also play a significant role. Rachel, who has children the same age as Tanner, provides practical support and understanding, while Tony, my long-time gaming buddy, offers friendship and a much-needed break from work stress.
They help me manage my responsibilities by stepping in whenever I need assistance. Whether it’s watching Tanner when I have an important meeting or helping with tasks around the house, their support allows me to focus on what’s important.
Recognizing when you need help and asking for it is crucial. It took me some time to understand this, but once I did, it made a significant difference. Communicating my needs clearly and coordinating with my support system ensures that everyone is on the same page and willing to help when needed.
Work-Life Balance
Work ends at 5 p.m. sharp. Here’s how I set boundaries to balance work and family life.
Setting boundaries between work and personal life is essential for maintaining a healthy balance. During the weeks I have Tanner, I make it a point to finish work by 5 p.m. sharp. This allows me to spend the evenings and weekends focused entirely on him. By setting these boundaries, I ensure that my work doesn’t encroach on our quality time together.
Quality time with Tanner is a priority. We have several activities and routines that we enjoy together. We love swimming, bike riding, and going for walks. Every Sunday, we go to my parents’ house for a family dinner, and we attend church together in the morning. These routines help us bond and create lasting memories.
Handling work emergencies can be challenging, but I’ve learned to manage them without compromising my responsibilities as a dad. I stay calm and focused by prioritizing tasks and dealing with the most urgent matters first. When things get hectic, I remind myself that my role as a father comes first. If necessary, I rely on my support system to help out with Tanner during high-pressure periods.
Flexibility is crucial in balancing work and family life. While I have a structured schedule, I also remain adaptable. If an opportunity arises to do something special with Tanner, I can adjust my work plans to accommodate it. This flexibility allows me to take advantage of spontaneous moments and ensure that I’m present for my son when he needs me.
Self-Care
Self-care isn’t selfish. Here’s how I take care of myself to stay effective as a dad and entrepreneur.
Taking care of myself is crucial to being effective in my roles as a father and a business owner. I have a few self-care routines that help me relax and recharge. I enjoy going on long walks and bike rides, both with and without Tanner. These activities not only keep me physically active but also provide a mental break from work and parenting duties. Meditation is another practice I find beneficial. It helps me stay grounded and focused, even on the most stressful days.
Burnout is real, but it’s avoidable. I’ve learned to recognize the signs of burnout, such as feeling constantly fatigued or losing interest in activities I usually enjoy. To prevent burnout, I prioritize self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of my routine. This means setting aside time each day for activities that help me unwind and maintain my energy levels.
Self-care is crucial for single parents and business owners. It’s easy to get caught up in the demands of work and parenting, but neglecting self-care can lead to burnout and decreased effectiveness. By taking care of myself, I’m better equipped to handle my responsibilities and be present for Tanner. I’ve found that when I’m well-rested and relaxed, I’m more patient, creative, and productive.
Balancing self-care with responsibilities is challenging, but it’s possible with a bit of planning. I integrate self-care into my daily routine by setting aside specific times for walks, meditation, and other activities. Even on the busiest days, I make sure to take short breaks to stretch, breathe, and clear my mind. These small moments of self-care add up and make a big difference in my overall well-being.
Tips for Other Single Parents
To all the single parents out there: you’re not alone. Here are my top tips for balancing parenthood and work.
Balancing parenthood and work as a single parent is challenging, but with the right strategies, it’s entirely possible.
1. Practical Advice for Balancing Responsibilities Managing your time effectively is crucial. Create a schedule that works for you and stick to it as much as possible. Use tools like to-do lists, calendars, and task management apps to stay organized. Prioritize your tasks and focus on what’s most important. Remember, it’s okay to say no to things that don’t align with your priorities.
2. Emotional and Mental Well-being Maintaining your mental health and emotional balance is just as important as managing your time. Practice mindfulness and meditation to help reduce stress and stay grounded. Take time to do activities that you enjoy and that help you relax. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
3. Building a Support System A strong support system is invaluable. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or neighbors. Surround yourself with people who understand your situation and can offer support. Join support groups or online communities for single parents to share experiences and advice.
4. Parenting Tips Fostering a strong relationship with your child is essential. Spend quality time together doing activities you both enjoy. Establish routines that provide stability and security for your child. Communicate openly with your child and listen to their concerns and feelings.
5. Self-Care and Personal Growth Prioritize self-care and personal growth. Take care of your physical health by eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. Set aside time for hobbies and interests that you’re passionate about. Continue learning and growing by reading books, taking courses, or exploring new skills.
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. With the right strategies and support, you can successfully balance parenthood and work, and thrive as a single parent.
Final Thoughts
Looking back on my journey, I realize that balancing fatherhood and business has been one of the most rewarding challenges of my life.
Balancing fatherhood and business requires effort, dedication, and a lot of learning. From setting boundaries and managing time effectively to building a support system and prioritizing self-care, each aspect plays a crucial role in maintaining harmony between work and family life.
If you’re a single parent trying to balance it all, know that you’re not alone. With the right strategies and support, you can successfully manage your responsibilities and thrive. Stay resilient, stay focused, and remember to take care of yourself along the way.
Reflecting on my journey, I’ve learned that the key to success lies in flexibility, patience, and the willingness to ask for help. Balancing fatherhood and business has not only made me a better parent but also a more effective entrepreneur. The challenges I’ve faced have taught me valuable lessons and helped me grow in ways I never imagined.
I invite you to share your own experiences and tips in the comments below. Let’s support each other on this journey and continue to learn and grow together. If you have any questions or need advice, feel free to reach out. Together, we can make the journey of single parenthood and entrepreneurship a little easier and a lot more rewarding.