Look, I’m not going to pretend this is some groundbreaking content about AI or automation or business systems.
Sometimes you just need to spend a Tuesday night eating burgers with your kid.
Tanner and I have been doing these little challenges and experiments on our second YouTube channel: the one that’s not about tech or marketing, but just… life stuff. Dad stuff. Gaming. Random challenges. And yeah, apparently fast-food burger rankings.
Last time we did “Say Yes to Everything for 24 Hours,” which was simultaneously awesome and exhausting. This time, we decided to answer the age-old question: which fast-food burger actually slaps the hardest?
Now, before you come at me in the comments: yes, I know we’re comparing junior burgers from McDonald’s to premium burgers from Arby’s. I know that’s not exactly apples to apples. And you know what? I don’t really care. We’re ranking what we actually got, hot and fresh, in parking lots across town.
This is pure, unscientific fun. No spreadsheets. No optimization frameworks. Just a dad and his 6-year-old eating way too many burgers and giving our honest takes.
Watch the Full Chaos here
The Rules (Such As They Were)
Here’s how we set this up:
- We hit up every fast-food place in our area that serves burgers.
- We ordered them plain (just burger and cheese) because Tanner likes them that way, and honestly, it’s a fairer test.
- We taste-tested in each parking lot while they were hot and fresh.
- Our rating system: 1–10, no ties allowed.
Originally, I thought we’d do what other YouTubers do: get all the burgers at once, bring them home, and try them all together. But that seemed like a terrible idea. Nobody wants to eat a lukewarm burger that’s been sitting for 45 minutes.
So we changed it up. Order, park, taste, rate, move on.
Side note: I realize this means I’m basically teaching my kid to sit in parking lots eating fast food and judging things. Father of the year right here, folks.
Stop One: McDonald’s (The Baseline)
We pulled up, ordered one plain cheeseburger for $2.19, and parked.
Tanner’s take: 9.5/10 initially, revised to 9.4.
My take: 6/10.
For Tanner, McDonald’s is peak burger experience: familiar and consistent. For me? It’s fine. It exists. The beef is thin, the cheese is standard, the bun is serviceable. Perfect baseline, though.
Stop Two: Arby’s (The Surprise Contender)
Burger King was only taking DoorDash orders (at 8 PM on a Tuesday…), so we pivoted to Arby’s. Not a burger place by reputation, but yes, they have burgers.
We grabbed their deluxe burger: actual heft, toasted bun, properly melted cheese.
My take: 8/10.
Tanner’s take: 8.1/10.
First burger of the night that felt thoughtfully constructed. Flavor, texture—someone cared.
Stop Three: Five Guys (The Premium Play)
Fast-casual, bigger, pricier. We got a small burger (still big).
My take: 8/10.
Tanner’s take: 6.7/10.
For a kid who likes plain burgers, Five Guys might be too much: thick, beefy, charred. Great for adults, maybe intense for a six-year-old. Value-wise, Arby’s was about 80% as good for about 60% of the price.
Stop Four: Wendy’s (The Dark Horse)
Ordered a junior cheeseburger plain and, yes, a large chocolate Frosty. Rules are rules.
My take: 8.5/10 (highest so far).
Tanner’s take: 8.3/10 (with Arby’s later revised up to 9.3).
Fresh bun, flavorful beef, nicely melted cheese. It just worked. And I crushed that Frosty.
Stop Five: Rally’s (The Disappointment)
Branding is loud, fries are great, prices are cheap. The burger? Not it.
My take: 5/10.
Tanner’s take: 5.2/10.
Bland beef, plasticky cheese, forgettable bun. Long wait with no payoff.
Stop Six: Burger King (The Cold Truth)
We finally made it, and the burger was cold. Like actually cold.
My take: 6.5/10. Better than McDonald’s, definitely better than Rally’s, but hard to judge fairly cold.
Tanner’s take: 9.1/10. Kids are mysteries.
Even cold, I could tell it had potential. Hot and fresh, it might have challenged Wendy’s for my top spot.
Stop Seven: Steak ‘n Shake (The One That Got Away)
We pulled up and were told they were closed to everyone except DoorDash. And that was that: challenge over.
Before anyone asks about In-N-Out or Whataburger: not in our area.
The Final Rankings
Derek’s Rankings
- Wendy’s: 8.5/10
- Arby’s: 8/10
- Five Guys: 8/10
- Burger King: 6.5/10
- McDonald’s: 6/10
- Rally’s: 5/10
Tanner’s Final Rankings
- McDonald’s: 9.4/10
- Arby’s: 9.3/10
- Burger King: 9.1/10
- Wendy’s: 8.3/10
- Five Guys: 6.7/10
- Rally’s: 5.2/10
What We Learned (Besides Eating Too Many Burgers)
These experiments are subjective but still revealing. Tanner wants familiar flavors and predictability. I want beef flavor, solid construction, and value.
The “best” burger depends entirely on what you’re optimizing for.
In business, some optimize for growth, others for sustainability or exit. In content, some optimize for views, others for engagement or personal satisfaction. Different games, different strategies.
My winner: Wendy’s, for the best combo of quality, taste, and value—the 80/20 pick. Tanner’s winner: McDonald’s, for consistency and comfort.
Why I’m Doing More of These Videos
I started the second channel with Tanner to document our time together. To make memories.
To have content we can look back on and say, “Remember the night we ate six burgers in two hours and tried not to puke?”
The business content is great, and necessary. But this is life. You automate and build systems so you can buy back time and take a random Tuesday night to turn it into a burger-ranking adventure with your six-year-old.
We got behind on vlogs while I focused on client work and growing the business. That was necessary. Now that we’re in a better place, I want to get back to this because these are the moments that matter.
Your Turn
- What’s your fast-food burger ranking?
- Is Wendy’s underrated?
- Team McDonald’s like Tanner?
- Are we insane for ranking Arby’s so high?
- If you have In-N-Out, Whataburger, Culver’s, etc., what are we missing?
Also, drop ideas for other challenges Tanner and I should try: fun, relatively safe, and ideally not a guaranteed stomachache.
The Takeaway
At the end of the day, this wasn’t really about burgers. It was about spending time with my kid. Creating content together. Having an experience we’ll both remember.
The burgers were just the excuse. And Wendy’s was still the best, fight me.
Watch the full video to see our reactions in real-time, witness Tanner’s dedication to rating precision, and hear me realize I probably should have stopped at three burgers instead of six.
Not subscribed yet? Here’s the deal: subscribe now or Tanner will hide under your bed tonight. He’s small but surprisingly strong. You’ve been warned.